Aug 22, 2014

Dear Me,

My boys are getting to the age where they have to make important decisions about their lives...which university, which course, what path? What kind of a person do they want to be? It's an exciting but stressful time and I remember it well. When I was sixteen I desperately wanted to be a nurse, but was told by my careers teacher that I was too short and that 'short people never get anywhere in life' (no word of a lie). So I decided to train to be a teacher instead. But my head teacher told me, 'We think you should do this course-' *hands me a pamphlet for a fancy new degree called Media Studies*. Back then I did what I was told. So I did that degree and worked for a year in a corporate environment but wasn't happy. THEN I took my career into my own hands, applied and was accepted to train as a nurse (short people can do stuff after all!!) It seems I was easily persuaded and eager to please everyone else instead of choosing my own path from the get go.

Louisa at 16
So I was thinking about my boys and what would be the best advice to give them? What would I (at the ripe old age of *mumble mumble*) have told me all those years ago?  Then I came across this  book called Dear Me which features letters from celebrities to their 16 year old selves. It also has letters from Joe Public and makes interesting reading. There are lots of 'trust yourself' and 'don't settle for...,' 'you are beautiful, believe it...' and there are some truly heartbreaking ones too, counterbalanced with silly and fun and honest and loving. I did wonder whether it's a good idea to look back- but actually, I think it is, because we can see all the mistakes we've made, all the growing we've done, all the wise things we've learnt and realise how much we've faced and survived...

So here's my attempt:

Dear Louisa

Sixteen feels so mature right now, but, trust me- life is just beginning for you. You will have some challenges, some things will rock you completely, some things will knock your confidence...but you have the strength and resilience to overcome them and come out the other side a better person. You will also have some amazing, wonderful, happy experiences and have a life filled with love - you just have to let it in.

Trust your intuition and your instincts. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't achieve your dreams. Because you can. And you do. You just have to work hard. Stick to your guns! You'll save a lot of heartache that way. But let yourself make some mistakes, we all do. That's how we learn.

Cherish your girlfriends, because they will hold your hand and lift you up, they will be by your side. Give them that love right back and don't get sucked in to the bitchy gossip thing. STOP SMOKING! NOW!!! Never ever wear your hair without a fringe. Ever. Go on that trip to Ireland with the students union- if you don't you'll regret it for a long time. Eat. Enjoy it. Love your body at every stage of your life and don't keep looking back to when you were thinner, younger...you are pretty damned okay whatever size you are. Spend more time with your mum creating memories and write down Nana's story now, even though it seems boring to you at 16 you'll regret not writing it down when you're older. And when you go on holiday to celebrate the end of your exams (I won't spoil the surprise of where and with who)- it's probably not such a great idea to dance on that table. Just saying...

Don't fret about finding The One. He's out there and when you meet him, you'll just know. Trust me on this.

Finally, stop worrying about everything. It doesn't help, it wastes time and stops you enjoying the good stuff.

Louisa xx
p.s. There's this company called apple, (funny name, I know) they make 'computers'...as soon as you see shares going on sale, buy lots!

So, what piece of advice would you give a 16 year old these days, or what would you tell your 16 year old self if you could? I'd love to hear your thoughts xxx


25 comments:

  1. Louisa, what a fantastic idea, and what a marvellous letter! So much of what you've included I'd put in mine. There'd be stuff about not worrying what others think but taking time to concentrate on what's important for myself, less worry (including teen body angst) and the need to believe in myself.

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    1. I think most of us have similar issues when we're growing up- worrying what others think is massive! I'm always hugely impressed by people who know exactly who they are and what they want- I think I'm still working all that out! LOL

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    2. Oh, and I forgot to mention, one of the celebrity letters was from Hugh Hackman...telling himself not to worry about his acne...and to always wear sunscreen!

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    3. Hackman??????? LOL! My fingers are too slippery today!!

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  2. What a fabulous letter, Louisa!

    I'd tell my teen self to have more confidence in her own abilities and to start writing - not for publication, just for fun.

    And to buy Microsoft shares. :)

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    1. Gosh, don't you wish you could get that confidence from somewhere, Claire? I guess it comes from age and experience- but we really need it at 16 and to steer us through those late teens and early twenties!!
      I hear you about the writing- i wish I'd felt brave enough to give it a go too!
      Oh, the benefits of hindsight!

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  3. Well thank you for my morning sinus clean out Louisa! That bought a lump to the throat!

    My letter would be very short, just four words.
    You. Are. Not. Fat.

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  4. Lawd, I'd never want to be sixteen again!

    Gorgeous post, Louisa. :-) I have a sixteen year old niece and she frets about what job she should be aiming for once her schooling is done. I've told her to just choose something that she thinks she'll like. I've told her that most people these days change vocations at least 3 times and that she can have fun exploring her options.

    Mind you, I'm not sure she believes a word I say. ;-)

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    1. And you've hit the nail on the head, Michelle! Would we have listened to all that advice anyway?!?!? LOL

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  5. What a beautiful post! I really wish my younger self had taken the time to write down my grandmother's story, I lost her right before I turned 15.

    I totally relate to the 'doing what you're told' thing - I did that well past 16! Fabulous post :)

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    1. Hey Stefanie! I lost my grandma at 15 too- before that she'd told me heaps of stories about when she was 'in service' to a family very similar to that on Downton Abbey, and about her life in the two world wars...back then I used to listen with half an ear on something else believing I had all the time in the world to care. Now I really wish I'd listened a bit harder!!

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  6. Love the idea. I think in my case I'd substitute Google in place of Apple....
    Sounds like it doesn't matter which decade, schools seem to give bad advice re: career inspirations. I ended up training to be a mechanic a few years after I left school. But had I expressed those ambitions while in 6th and 7th form (or years 12 & 13 as we were supposed to call it) I would have been told that I was too intelligent and to focus on studies at university - I did see many people treated this way.
    Sadly, a bung ankle prevented me from ever getting totally into the trade but it was still worth every bit of the training.

    To put aspects of my comment in context I'm currently 30 and turn 31 in December.

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    1. Hi Lyn, thanks for telling us how things were for you. Sorry to hear about your ankle, and great that you enjoyed the training.

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  7. I absolutely adore this letter, Louisa! And I just want to hunt that shortist careers adviser down and (stand on a chair and) yell at her.

    I think I'd tell myself that Farrah Fawcett hair doesn't look good on everyone and neither do leg warmers or toe socks - and that there really are heroes out there like the ones I read read about.

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    1. I needed your advice, Barb! I loved my leg warmers and toe socks...hmmm, not such a good choice looking back. And that Farrah Fawcett hair- I bet you looked gorgeous!!

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  8. Louisa

    That is so lovely I would tel a 16 year old to aim big but always respect yourself and other people along the way make mistakes but learn from them and be happy

    Have Fun
    Helen

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    1. That sounds like excellent advice, Helen! I think respect for yourself and others is a huge thing.

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  9. What a beautiful letter, Louisa!!! I so loved reading it. I can just hear your lovely voice reading that out loud.

    It is heartbreaking what some teachers/advisers tell kids. But, 'short people never get anywhere in life', that is just incredible and so terrible!

    Gosh, what would I tell my sixteen year old self?!?!? One piece of advice would be to have more fun along the way and that being the a senior level position in your early 20s in a big corporation isn't all its cracked up to be (romance writing much more fun!).

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  10. LOL, Jennifer! I think writing romance is the best career in the worst, but then I'm biased! It's a shame that we have to be so serious so young, it's only looking back that you can see where you could have been more relaxed about things...
    And, yeah...that careers teacher was short too- obviously she had a huge chip on her shoulder.

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    1. oh, my, predictive text...the best career in the world!!!!

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  11. Loved your letter, Louisa. One day, a few years ago, I wrote a 'letter' to my children in the middle of one of our family scrapbooking photo albums. I figure they'll find it one day and hopefully, remember their wonderful childhood and know how much they are/were loved.

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  12. Susanne, that is such a wonderful thing to do- what a gorgeous surprise they'll have one day.

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  13. Louisa, this is such a beautiful letter. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could tell our younger selves even just a couple of simple things? Nothing spoilery (though the apple advice is good), more like that lovely line you have about trusting your instincts. Good advice for people of any age. :)

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  14. Louisa, I finally got back to read this fabulous letter to your 16-year-old self. I'm shaking my head at the terrible advice from your teachers and I'm so glad you went on to follow your dream of being a nurse.

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