I love food, any food. First, I go and sit outside the back door with Peasant-the-dog and Fatso-the-cat, then when I’ve eaten all of their food, I rush around to the front and eat with my friend, Poppy-the-rabbit. Other wild animals come and join us because the food is so good. Cathleen has finally worked it out that I like to have my food served properly so I have my own tray. Beautiful, isn’t it?
My favourite food is top quality mince. It’s quite pathetic because my slave expects me to take turns with Peasant and Fatso. I never take turns if I can help it and I have even been known to attack Peasant if Cathleen shows her favour over me. I love to crow in the morning right next to Cathleen’s bedroom so she gets up and feeds me. Cathleen tried to explain to me that she didn’t know that chickens crow. She even used a statue of a rooster to explain that a rooster looks different from me. Personally, when I heard that a rooster doesn’t lay eggs, I thought that’s the life for me. Cathleen said she’s very disappointed in me because I won’t lay anymore. Why should I? They hurt when they come out and if she thinks I’m contributing to that egg basket, she’s kidding herself!
My human slave has some strange ideas about chickens. She thinks when there’s a heat wave that it’s okay to dress in her swimmers, grab me and put me in the swimming pool. It is never okay to do this to me. I don’t like swimming. Now when I see her in a costume, I run and hide. Cathleen’s so embarrassing sometimes.