Sue MacKay
As writers and readers of romance we love our heros. Where would a story be without one? In the trash, I guess. These heros tend to be a little larger than life . And why not? We all have our daydreams about gorgeous hunks.
So when someone once asked at a writers' meeting 'What about all the real guys out there?' my reply was 'We marry them'.
The real guys are our heros. They are the men who hug us when we've had a bad day, sit up all night with us when the world is going badly pear-shaped, and sometimes buy us chocolates or pour us a glass of wine. On a good day they'll even cook a meal or do the dishes. Sound similar to those you read about?
They also leave their clothes on the floor, forget to bring home the milk , and think it hilarious when the hairdresser uses the wrong colour on our hair.
And, they don't all come in tall, broad shouldered packages.
My first hero, my dad, used to occasionally buy mum a box of chocolates knowing full well she didn't like them while he craved them. It was the only way he could justify spending the money back then. He'd sometimes cook dinner, and man, could he cook, but he'd use every pot and pan in the house then leave mum with the dishes.
Come to think of it, my latest hero, my DB, has similar characteristics. Must buy him some teatowels for his next birthday. Would I swap him for one of the heros in my books? Only on the days I get handed stinky fishing clothes to wash!
I have a copy of The Dangers of Dating Your Boss to give away so tell me what makes a man a hero for you? Is it the every day things he does or the big picture things?
Hey, my husband uses every pot and pan in the kitchen when he cooks too! But luckily I hate cooking and like doing dishes! What makes a man a hero for me is the every day things! Like occasionally buying a lotto ticket for he even though he thinks they are silly because he knows I like them. (@kaploded on Twitter)
ReplyDeleteI used to like big hunky alpha men, but I ended up with a computer geek. I have no idea how did that happened. Yes, he talks weird stuff and he has no romantic bone in him, but all I know is that he makes me happy and he completes me.
ReplyDeleteSue, what makes a hero... Maybe one of the qualities is knowing when to fight and when to walk away. There's a lot of my dh in every hero I write. Being a strong proud male is what makes us love these guys, as well as have us roll our eyes or even infuriate us sometimes =)
ReplyDeleteHi Sue. Integrity - the heroes I write always have it, and it's one of the things that drew me to my dh. Great post :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, have switched to Mozilla in the hope I can once again comment on the Lovecats (if this works, thanks, Rachel!).
ReplyDeleteFunny how so many of my romance writing friends have dh's without a romantic bone in their body - but we wouldn't swap them for the world.
It's definitely the everyday things my dh does that makes him my hero (like making me a cuppa when I'm writing).
Hi Sue. My girls Grandad is a Hero. He is there for them no matter what and has done so so so much for them that he is one of the few people that I would jump if they said to. He goes to their sports and musical concerts (even tho he nodds off, he's still there). He has a free call number so all the grandkids can call him. He is just there. I've phoned a couple of times needing rescueing for what ever reason and he drops everything! He is our hero :)
ReplyDeleteRandon name, I like the every day things too. Good luck with the lotto tickets.
ReplyDeleteNatalija, funny how that happens. But I beleive the hero stuff in their character makeup and the hunk body is a plus, definitely not necessary.
ReplyDeleteRobyn, that's a great quality for any hero to have. It makes sense we use our own DH's qualities in our books because they are the ones that obviously touch us.
ReplyDeleteIntegrity definitely has to be in their makeup, Helen.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine writing a hero without it and would never look twice at a man without it either.
Anita, making a cuppa for you when you're doing something for yourself is romantic. Beats flowers every time, though I'd never turn them away either.
ReplyDeleteTash, your girls' grandad sounds wonderful. And he's probably defining something in their minds for later when they're looking for life partners.
ReplyDeleteHi Sue!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your blog very much. My DH thanks me for cooking dinner each night by washing the dishes. He never has to be asked, he just does it. Also, he knows when to let difficult subjects drop, where I may want to press on, he has a bit more wisdom than I do. After thirty years, I think I'll still keep him! :)
Chuckling here, Lynn. Glad you're going to keep your DH. That takes some restraint to back off a difficult subject (at least it is for me, being the argumentative type) so very heroic on your DH's part.
ReplyDeleteSue, my own personal hero brings me a cup of tea in bed every morning. I'm thinking that's worth holding onto. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd while I know there are far worthier traits...a hero who can make me laugh will win me over every time. :-)
Laughter is the best medicine, they say, Michelle and I'd have to agree. Funny how many of us like our cuppas.
ReplyDeleteIt's the little things that count I always feel. Lets face it they add up & hopefully for good rather than ill. Give me a hero who cleans up after himself & I'm happy.
ReplyDeleteReposting as my original comment disappeared into the great cyber-unknown...
ReplyDeleteFor me, a hero is one who is always there - wherever, whenever, however, and even whoever - without question or judgement. Just if needed in whatever capacity. I guess that makes him kind-of a super-hero without the flashy pretences or expectations! :-)
I love this! My real-life hero is funny and goofy and buys me plants instead of long-stemmed roses. He reads stories to our toddler. He lives and dies with his favorite sports teams...and he sends me silly texts all day long. Even when he's right down the hall.
ReplyDeleteHi Sue -- our real-life heroes make us work to find their hero-ism, through the little things they do, I think. Whereas a romance hero makes big gestures, real life heroes are more likely to have little gestures -- like remembering your favourite ice cream flavour or something like that.
ReplyDeleteAh - dropped socks, using every utensil and pan in the kitchen...that sounds familiar. But of course there's the other side too. He rolls up his sleeves and cooks the dinner you'd planned to do but haven't managed to start because you finally got a feel for the scene you'd been wrestling with and just want to get down one more page. I think it's the understanding of what's important to you, and the willingness to support you (not just you but the rest of your family) that make your hero special. One of the things, anyway.
ReplyDeleteClare, you've got it in one, I reckon. And who needs the flashy stuff?
ReplyDeleteMarybelle, glad you like the little things, they add up to the bog package.
ReplyDeleteKristina, your hero sounds perfect. Love those texts. Humour goes a long way in any relationship and can defuse the tense situations.
ReplyDeleteWell put, Emmie. I guess we don't have the time and space to have our story heroes making the little gestures.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, Annie, about the willingness to support us. If my DH hadn't believed in what I was doing through all those years of submitting and being rejected I'd have given up.
ReplyDeleteSue, I've loved reading about everyone's homebody heroes! Aren't they wonderful! I have mine and he's a keeper! Lots of little things, he makes me laugh and laughs at my silly jokes! He bought me the latest Harry Potter as a coming-home-to-recover gift after I'd had major surgery. He supports my writing and comes to the conferences to help out! Yep, definitely my hero!
ReplyDeletei just hope that i can found my hero who can be a father for me, a brother for me, a friend for me and a lover for me ;)
ReplyDeleteAnita said, "Funny how so many of my romance writing friends have dh's without a romantic bone in their body - but we wouldn't swap them for the world." Yup. I think the same holds true for romance readers' husbands - or at least mine. No grand gestures like flowers, chocolates, movie/date night, etc., but I must tell you about our 30th wedding anniversary. It was on a Monday last year, and DH happened to have the day off work. We drove an hour away and took a ferry for 30 minutes to an island. (I read while he walked around the ferry.) We drove all over the island, pulling over to let faster drivers pass. We even went "parking" and "necked" for a bit like teenagers! Next was lunch at a quaint restaurant, followed by consumption of one of my brownies in the car. We drove around some more, took the ferry back (with more reading and walking involved), and stopped for supper at another restaurant, again followed by homemade cookies in the car. Rather than taking the "interstate" back home, we took a more relaxed trip, which included yet another ferry ride, this time for 15 minutes, while - you guessed it - I read and he walked around. Around the corner was an ice cream store, so we stopped for a cone, before getting home around 9 pm. Now THAT is the most romantic day we've ever had - and we only waited 30 years for it, LOL!
ReplyDeleteSharon, definitely a keeper. He obviously knows exactly what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteEli, you'll find him. There's a hero out there for every one of us.
ReplyDeleteLaney, what a lovely story. I'm sure you'll have many more days like that now.
ReplyDelete