Stress soothers – Kandy Shepherd

It’s been quite a stressful time for me in recent weeks. Our house is on the market and it was a frantic time getting it ready. Now there’s the constant pressure to keep it really tidy! 

Amidst all that I had my next story to finish for Harlequin Mills & Boon. A severe bout of the flu took me out of action for a month, which put me behind on my deadline. (I caught the flu before I’d had a chance to get vaccinated.) 

Thank heaven, I finally finished (just last night!) after long hours of BOC (butt on chair) and being very anti-social. Now I go through the nail-biting time of hoping my lovely editor likes the story...

Other stressful things have been happening too. So I thought I’d share some photos of things I love and think looking at might help to keep the blood pressure down!  (Of course that's apart from the obvious stress releases like exercise, meditation, massage, binge TV and so on!) I’d love to hear what are your favourite stress relievers.

The first thing I turn to at stressful times is chocolate, which I really, really shouldn't do. All those stress-relieving nibbles and all that sitting down leads to a new stressor – getting fatter! Deadly, my dietitian daughter warns...

Chocolate is not what I should be turning to!

I love to have flowers in the house, from my garden ideally. While my house is open for inspections I indulge in some flowers arrangements from my favourite florist. We go way back to my magazine days, and she knows just the flowers to lift my spirits!

The colours of these flowers soothe my soul! (Love the little cabbages.)

I absolutely love the water, swimming in the sea and walking along a beach are among my favourite past-times. Both these beaches are in the far northern suburbs of Sydney and easily accessible. One reason this particular LoveCat likes living DownUnder!

This is Bungan Beach on Sydney's northern beaches, view from a house for sale  (that we couldn't possibly afford, sadly!)

Too chilly (winter Down Under) for me to swim but others are braving the waters at Mona Vale, another Sydney  beach.

Who isn't cheered up by a rainbow. This one was taken on a walk around our little farm when I was seeking inspiration for a plot point. 

Stormy weather and a rainbow in the Blue Mountains

Food I haven't had to cook myself (or clear up afterwards) is a cheer-up treat. This cafe breakfast of corn fritters really hit the spot. 

That gorgeous green is a pea puree

Of course my cats always bring joy, just looking at them makes me feel happy. Stroking them and listening to them purr are proven stress releasers.

My precious kitties taking up my entire side of the bed! From left: Alfie, Tabitha, Ivy

Then there's spending time with my wonderful husband and gorgeous daughter. But they don't much like me posting pictures of them on social media!

What works for you when you need to distract yourself from stress? I'd love to read your comments!

Are you living your dream? – Kandy Shepherd

Recently, my younger brother died suddenly and unexpectedly. It was sad, distressing and I don’t know when I’ll get over the shock and loss. However the upside of the tragedy was I was able to spend significant time with my middle brother. He lives on the other side of the country, and before that in Europe, so I haven’t seen much of him at all in recent years. It was amazing the details of shared lives that siblings seem to remember. He reminded me of all sorts of things I’d forgotten.

 

During our most recent conversation I observed we are quite an eccentric family. He laughed as he agreed but said we have all achieved our dreams, one way or another. “You always wanted to be a romance writer,” he pointed out. Our deceased younger brother became a rock musician later in life, not on a large scale but known and loved in the area where he lived—living the dream of singing and playing guitar on stage. Another has a string of non-fiction books in his area of expertise to his name. The other has the lifestyle he dreamed of and knows he has made a difference through activism.

It got me thinking. Yes, I am living the dream of being a romance writer—and very happy about it too! But I’m also living the dream of being happily married and the mother of a wonderful daughter. How fortunate I am!

Other friends are living the dream of seeing the world now they’re retired. Another is totally caught up in her longed for first baby. Yet another is taking art classes for the first time and discovering her talent. My husband, in middle age, has achieved his dream of cycling across some of the highest alps in Europe. My daughter has her own horse—a dream since she was tiny. Another young person is delighted to have a job and be able to pay rent on her own place. 

So many different dreams motivating and inspiring us!

PS. My other oft-stated dream when I was a kid? To live in a lovely house and have lots of cats. As I live in a nice house with four much-loved cats, I think I can check that one off the dream list too! (Don’t mention to my husband that I’d like to foster homeless cats one day—because that’s definitely not his dream as he fears I wouldn’t be able to part with them!)

What about you? Have you achieved a dream of some kind that pleases you? Do you still aspire to a dream? Is there a dream you had to give up on? Please share your story with us. I’d love to hear it!

Never on my own - Kandy Shepherd

Writing is a solitary occupation. While we authors come out to play at conferences and book launches and library talks, much of our time is spent sitting behind a computer. For hours and hours and hours we sit there, lost in creating the imaginary worlds and the imaginary people of our stories. On our own.

I’m not the kind of writer who can work in the midst of chaos. I’m also very easily distracted by other people. As deadline approaches—and I always seem to be on a frantic last-minute rush to meet it as I’m a procrastinator, but that’s a different story—my family know I need my space. Luckily, I have a room where I can close the door. I don’t want noise either. No music, just quiet. Which is why I am so often writing late at night and into the early hours of the morning.

Alfie in his favourite box - right near my desk

However, while I’m locked away in my writing cave, I’m not really alone.

Sweet Ivy always likes to be nearby

Always, with four cats, I have feline company of some kind. I haven’t shared photos of my pets for a while so here are my companions who keep me company of the quiet, uncritical kind. 

Our darling Tabitha is 18 now, and has kept me company through lots of books

That is, unless one is hungry or wants to play, or wants to go in and out the door. No need for me to set an alarm to make sure I get up and walk around at regular intervals. There is always a cat who wants in or out of a door!

Darling Cindy, my other old girl probably about 17

P.S. While I’m outside gardening at my little farm, I have not only cats but chickens for company and usually horses hanging around nearby too. But I really had to laugh at the sight of my husband weeding with one of our two pet steers, Squirt and Thimble, keeping him company. 

Thimble helping out with the gardening

The bullies are a miniature breed called Dexters but they’re not exactly tiny! This is Thimble.

Do you have an animal companion of some kind that keeps you company while you work? I’d love to read about it in the comments!

A Day in the Glamorous Life of a Romance Writer....

When people ask about my writing day I know they picture me like this.

Actually, I think they probably add in a few long lunches, a crystal bowl of bon-bons and a pink feather boa....and oh how I wish that were true.

The truth is that my day doesn't pan out anything like that. More like this.

5.45am: Up and out the door with Cosmo the mini schnauzer. We walk along a beautiful stream track and watch the sun come up. Cosmo only has to hear my feet hitting the floor and she's in my room and ready to go. 

7am: We're back home and one of the best parts of the day. Coffee!! My partner-in-parenting-crime does the best flat white known to humanity and I couldn't do without one to start my day. This is the time I'm replying to emails from my editor, or agent, my critique partner Rachel Bailey, or making sure nothing important has slipped by me on Facebook.

8am: After a fight for a free bathroom, supervising four lunches being made, two loads of washing hung out and school shoes being found, I'm off to my day job.

8.45am: I'm the Assistant Head of the English department at an all girls high school with 1100 students and I love it. There's nothing nicer than sharing my love of books and films with amazing young women. At times it's stressful, occasionally manic, but always inspiring. This year I've taught films like "Doubt", books like "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "The Book Thief"and I've read some wonderful writing and had some thought-provoking discussions.

3.30pm: It's home to these crazy cats - the creators of all the washing and the participants in every sport and music lesson known to humanity. On any one day I can be driving between tennis, football, netball, violin, flute, guitar, piano or swimming. It also means I spend quite a bit of time waiting for activities to finish and it's a perfect time to take my trusty Macbook and read over a scene or do some planning or to plug my headphones in and have my latest chapter read back to me.

6.00pm: Back home and it's now that I'm so grateful that my kids and husband love to cook! While they're getting dinner ready and the kids are finishing off chores I'm starting into my writing for the day. It's about now that I'm also grateful that my husband's a winemaker and comes home with these little bottles of perfection.

8.30pm: After dinner I'm into writing completely. The little bits that I've done during the day mean I can now just add words - sometimes days more quickly than others. What I don't get done during the week I can finish on the weekend. I try to stick to a pretty strict daily word count so little-by-little my book takes shape.

10.30pm: Into bed with the chapters from my CP's latest manuscript. I'll read them through once and then make any suggestions. More often than not I get lost in the story and forget I'm supposed to be commenting. By ll.00pm the light's out and I'm dreaming about my latest characters, hoping plot problems will work out in my dreams, and looking forward to doing it all over again tomorrow.

How have your days been this week?

Celebrate Cupid's Day

freedigitalphotos.net, sippokron

Can you feel it? The love floating in the air? The romance wafting about the place?

Yes, it’s that time of year. Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us. And I love it.

So many people are critical of the commercial nature of Valentine’s Day but I think there is nothing wrong with shining a romantic spotlight on your relationship. With all the pressures of raising a family, building a career, staying fit and healthy and performing all the mundane tasks required to maintain a functioning household, romance can often slide away in the face all of those demands. 

And, there’s no need to be pushed into something clichéd, costly or kitsch to make the day special. Moonlit walks on the beach, free. Handmade card, free. A playlist of my favourite songs, free. Voucher for cooking dinner every night, free (I’ve been making a lot of hints about that one!!)

freedigitalphotos.net, markuso

My husband and I usually go out for a candlelit dinner (well they are a cliché for a reason – I love candlelit dinners). We always talk about how we met. How we looked across a crowded room (yes, our relationship is cliché central) and knew in that instant something special had happened. How we lived on different sides of the world (me, London; him, Brisbane) or different cities (me, Melbourne and Durham, USA, him, Brisbane) due to career commitments for the next two years before we could finally live together. How we got to know each other through letters (no email or cheap phones/skype calls back in the IT dark ages) and what a lovely way it was to learn about each other. I read those letters often for inspiration for my stories and for how men express themselves when they are first falling in love.

Yes, I’m a die hard romantic. Lucky, considering the career I’ve chosen. So, this Valentine’s Day I’ll have dinner with my partner of the last 20 years and think, isn’t it lovely that we’ve taken time out of our crazy lives to gaze into each others eyes and reminisce about how lucky we were to see each other across that crowded room.

Jennifer’s latest novel, The Billionaire’s Pursuit of Love is out now available from Amazon, iTunes, Google, Penguin and Destiny Romance.