Curly Girls

One of my favourite episodes of Sex and the City is the one I think of as the Curly Girl episode. 

Remember when Big was dating (engaged to?) Natasha, the perfect, tall, sleek-haired younger woman. It's a pivotal moment in Carrie's life when it hits her that she and Miss Sleek might both be smart, successful women - but they are not the same species.

For Carrie is a Katie Girl (aka Barb in The Way We Were); fabulous, unique, raw, untamed, wild, unfinished, searching, and not kind of girl who classically ends up with the Bigs (or Hubbells) of the world.  For Katie - and Carrie - are determined to be themselves, to own their quirks, to not conform to current social norms in the face of loving larger than life men.

They are curly girls.

It was no accident that 'Natasha' had dead-straight hair. For straight hair is considered professional, beautiful and aspirational. (Which it is!) I'm just saying, when did it become so that curly hair isn't thought of the same way?

There have been moments when a Curly Girl's curls have made a big impact - Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, Keri Russell in Felicity, Debra Messing in Will and Grace, the glorious Bernadette Peters in everything she ever did. Meg Ryan flew the curly flag in a number of films. But over time even they have succumbed to the pressure to defrizz. And Hermione (a total Curly Girl) began the Harry Potter franchise with curly hair only to see it smooth out as the films went on.

When Viola Davis wore her natural hair to the Oscars in 2012, rather than a glossy 'straight' weave,  it made international news.

Chris Rock made a fabulous documentary called Good Hair which talked about the overwhelming number of African American women who chemically straighten or weave their hair. He made it for his daughters in an effort to show them that their natural curly hair was amazing, to be celebrated, and need not be homogenized.

Quoting the New York Times, as recently as February this year, the "the City of New York, through its Commission on Human Rights, officially banned discrimination based on hairstyle." Because before then it was actually ok to have rules and policies against cornrows, Afros, Bantu knots, curls, hair that stood taller against the crown than a certain measurement. I kid you not. 

A great deal of the pull for me regarding this subject, is that I've always identified as a Curly Girl, whether I straightened my hair or not. Off centre, not so neat and tidy, a little rock chic. And as a kid I had wildly curly-hair. It frizzed, it fuzzed, I had no clue how to tame it, but I owned it. It was a big part of who I was.

Though as time went on and kids came along, my hair changed, it spent most days in a messy bun, or was straightened in an effort to at least appear as if I had it all together. My curls made the occasional come back, but by putting them out to pasture meant I lost a little of the Curly Girl part of myself along the way.

And then came the Curly Girl Method movement. And hallelujah!

Those of you with latent waves or under-appreciated curls, read on.  For what I'm about to tell you may well change your life.

For Curls are making a come back. Curly Girls (or wavy woman, frizzy females) are out there, sharing the right combination of products, and methods, to bring out the best in their curls. Products that are sulphate, paraben and silicone-free which stops the coat-then-strip coat-then-strip merry-go-round. Methods in which you learn about trapping moisture, deep conditioning, beer-protein-rinses, squishing, and scrunching.

It can be as fun and full-on as easy and light as you decide for it to be. For someone who's used the exact same (wrong) shampoo and conditioner for 20 years, for me it was time.

I've taken the plunge. I gave away all the smoothing, 3-day straight, silicone de-frizzing gloop filling my bathroom cupboard and bought leave-ins, and curl creams and apple cider vinegar and a bowl with which to saturate my clumps. I no longer use a towel to dry my hair, rather one of my husband's old t-shirts.

And I love it! My curls are back. My hair has NEVER felt better. And my inner Curly Girl is punching the air with glee!


If I'm ever caught glued to Youtube, my kids are all like, "Which Curly Girl are you watching?"  My eight-year-old son wants to start a movement called "Spiky Boy" and he squishes in his conditioner like a pro. And watching Iron Man 2 the other day, he took one look at Black Widow and said, "Mum, she's a Curly Girl!"

Since I'm also a Never Say Never kind of girl, I may straighten my hair again one day. For fun. But for now - I'm out and proud and au naturale!

My name is Ally, and I am a Curly Girl.

How about you?

Diary of a Netflix Tragic #notanad

I avoided Netflix for a very long time.  Mostly because I know myself too well - access to that many quality TV shows and movies and I'd never leave the couch!

But we recently gave in and gave it a go and as expected I'm an instant Netflix Tragic.

I LOVE that you can watch a series or even an episode and if stopped part way you can simply pick up exactly where you left off the next time you turn it on.

I LOVE that there is a great mix of new and old so I don't have to head to my DVD shelves to dive into Pride and Prejudice anytime I wish.

I LOVE that I can catch up on a show on my phone at the airport.  Seriously cool, that.

So here are some of my faves:

DRAMA

"Suits" - came into this one years late, seduced by seeing Meghan Markle act. Donna is my bliss.  Super fun, easy watching show!

"The Crown" - what class!  A brilliant, engaging, entertaining, believable glimpse into the life of the British Royal family. And some of the best acting I have ever witnessed.  Jonathon Lithgow as Winston Churchill is superb. The man gives me chills every time he's on screen.

"Orphan Black" is a study in character acting. Tatiana Maslany, who plays several parts, is phenomenal.

COMEDY

"Crashing" - hilarious Brit twentysomething rom com. Only 1 season but I hope they do more!

"Offspring" - glorious Aussie show, so cool to be able to catch up on the final two seaosns that I'd missed when it was on free to air TV!

Hannah Gadsby's "Nanette" is a MUST WATCH stand up show. Funny, moving, and a kick in the pants.

MOVIES

The Netflix Original movies are fantastic!!!  I adored "Set It Up". "Ibiza" was totally fun with some serious sexual tension. As for "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" - le sigh!!!

So, are you a Netflix Tragic too?  Or yet to join the cult?  What are your must watch shows?

What's On the Box....

By Helen Lacey

I don't get to watch much television. With my writing, my day job, a husband, three horses, three dogs, two cats and an elderly parent (plus a sizable extended family), time often seems to be in short supply and if I do have any I generally prefer to read or spend as much time writing as I can. But there are a few shows I love....

- Big Bang Theory....I love the banter between the characters and it always makes me smile, much like Frasier or MASH have done in the past.

- Supernatural....okay, I'm a girl and a huge Dean Winchester fan. And because there's often a humorous element to the storylines, it really can't be taken all that seriously.

- Air Crash Investigation....yeah, I have a somewhat morbid curiosity about this show, but can't seem to help myself listen as they go through the clues to find out the how's and the why's of the crashes.

 - Bold And The Beautiful....half an hour of tossing hair and deep sighs and cued pauses....what's not to love? But I don't get to see this much as it's on during the day, so I catch maybe one episode a week (and can still follow the storylines....go figure)

- Downtown Abbey.... I did watch this until they killed off poor Matthew Crawley...my heart it seems is forever broken and I haven't quite summoned the heart to try again. So it probably shouldn't be on the list, but I liked it enough to give it a plug.

Now,  a week ago I gave in to all the hype and peer pressure and watched the first two episodes of Game Of Thrones....then I made a teeny comment on Facebook and people came out of the woodwork to tell how wonderful it was. Alas, I didn't find it so. The murder, rape, incest, betrayal, animal mutilation....to name just a few things....well, they kind of disturbed me and I felt like I was having a minor panic attack the whole time I watched the show. I was on edge and uncomfortable for the entre duration. And yes, I've never been one for graphic violence - I'd much rather watch When Harry Met Sally than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And I read mostly contemporary romance or biographies, although I love Austen and devour any BBC adaption of any of her  books. Murder and mayhem aren't generally my cup of tea - unless is wrapped up in a Sci-Fi movie, al-la Terminator or Start Trek. But as a writer I am interested in plot and characters and storytelling. So I tried with this show. And failed in spectacular fashion. Much to the despair and outrage of several of my friends. I was looking for a hero in the two episodes I watched, and couldn't find one - someone redeemable - but he or she never came. And the violence put me off because it seemed unrelenting.

So, did I bail too soon after just two episodes? Probably. And since my husband just bought the first couple of seasons of Sons Of Anarchy, I think I'm about to do the same thing again.

Have you ever bailed on a TV show or a book? Or walked out on a movie at the cinema?
Love to hear about it if you have.

Bring on the Show!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock these last few weeks, you’ll be aware the Olympic Games start this weekend in London. There are ads and signs and references everywhere and even though we’re on the other side of the world from the action (in New Zealand), the excitement is beginning to mount. People are stocking up on caffeine and vitamins so they can watch the events all night and stagger through work during the day.

But we actually don’t have a telly in our house. Well, we do have a telly but it’s not plugged in to any kind of aerial or anything. We only use it to watch DVDs. There are a number of reasons for this—mainly, we don’t have time to get hooked into series TV. Also I can’t stand ads. Embarrassingly as well, I’ve been known to get stupidly addicted to soaps. I’d rather the kids spent their screen-time in a more interactive way (all hail the mighty computer) – or, even better, read a book or played some crazy imaginative game round the house (‘Magic Unicorns’ is the new fave for the twins. ‘War’ is the choice of the older two).

"Television" by Salvatore Vuono
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Now I know there are so amazing shows out there that I don’t see. Occasionally we do go through an entire series of something by renting it from the DVD store (if I’ve heard really good things about it). It means we can watch without ads and without having to wait a whole week for the next episode. But mostly we watch movies. We’re the most regular customers at our local Blockbuster I think—hubs and I watch a few a week at least. I love movies—like to have the whole story told in a couple of hours. And the kids don’t miss out completely so aren’t socially ostracised ;), they watch DVDs too. All those fave shows are available and yay—no ads! But basically we’re really happy living in our TV-free zone

But of course, it’s the Olympics now and these really are pretty special. All my children are at primary school and they’re all doing projects on it. And given we do swimming and running and soccer etc, I think it’s great for the kids to see the elite in these sports. And they’re fun. So I said to the hubs, “we really need to be able to watch some of the Games” – and lovely hubs replied, “I’ll happily watch any of it but PLEASE don’t make me watch the (mumble mumble) Opening Ceremony!”

Now here is one of the few points on which Hubs and I are not aligned in perfect harmony ;)

"Clown in Parade" by Debspoons
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

I am a parades girl. If there’s a Santa Parade, a Spring Parade, any kind of Carnival, I’m there. Marching bands, clowns, pomp, circumstance, I want it all.

Hubster? Not so keen. Really not. Gets bored. Wants to move. Wants to do Something Else.

Can you believe that?! And it’s in London this year—we all know how well the Brits do Pomp and Ceremony!!! They’re the home of pageantry!!!! I so totally can’t wait to watch every minute of that opening ceremony!

And so it is that we’re off round the road to my mum-in-laws at some early hour on Saturday so we can see it on her ‘bells and whistles’ pay-TV scheme. That’s the kids and me. Think Hubs might go for a run.

I can’t wait to see what kinds of special effect things they do, how they get us through the loooooong parade of athletes, how they’re going to make the whole place come alive. And how will the Olympic Flame bowl-thing light up? Will there be some fab trick to it?! It’s all such great, traditional stuff!!! A must see, in my book!

As for the sports themselves, some of those are must see too. Personally I’m really looking forward to the men’s diving. And the men’s gym. And the rowing. There’s some very good inspiration to be found at the Games! ;)

So tell me, are you going to be watching the opening ceremony on Friday/Saturday?! Are you going to be glued 24/7 for the next few weeks??!!