Those Precious Moments

Photo by Deborah Hillman Photography

Wow, my first official post as a Love Cat! I feel daunted and especially privileged all at the same time. Which is pretty much normal for me, I guess. Like many people, I'm often (okay, most of the time) guilty of not taking time to simply enjoy the moment I'm in, or the people around me, or the flavour of what I'm eating, or the aroma of my coffee, or, well, anything. I burrow down with my head filled with what I need to do, what comes after that and whatever else I need to chase my tail for. Sometimes I just live my life too busy.

This past weekend I have been hugely blessed to have had my kids (and their partners) around me for a great deal of the time. I finished a manuscript on Good Friday by four o'clock in the afternoon (my self-imposed deadline) and by five I was enjoying savouring a delicious bottle of champagne to celebrate the moment. For dinner we barbequed and had salad and tasty garlic bread and everything felt so right with my world.

It occurred to me, as it often does, that I don't stop to appreciate those moments often enough. I don't celebrate the individual achievements that add up to reach a goal. Saturday was another such day as the kids came with us to an extended family and friends function at a beautiful home in a stunning location south of Auckland and the kids all came back to our house to sleep over and we shared breakfast together on Sunday morning. Once everyone had gone, the house felt empty, but right, if you know what I mean. Having everyone staying with us was wonderful and we had a lot of laughs which left a lingering trace of happy in our home even after everyone had gone.

A year, or so, ago I decided on a theme for my year and that was to have no regrets. I didn't want to miss out on doing something and be annoyed with myself later for not having taken a hold of the opportunity with both hands. It led me to go parasailing while on holiday with my family and subsequently to go skydiving, again with my family. Both things I have fabulous memories of and no regrets at all. It also led me to go to Romance Writers of America's national conference in Anaheim, which was truly amazing, and to spend an extra day and a night in the States with writing friends so I could visit Santa Monica as well. I reached the end of my year with no regrets but still doing my usual hamster on a wheel thing, living life too busy.



Fragrant Cloud Rose

This year I'm late coming to my theme and it has occurred to me that I think it needs to be mindfulness. To take those moments, even only short ones, in each day to stop and bask in that point in time. To mark off milestones instead of letting them pass without realising it (I may need preset alarms for this one!) To relish every moment with my family when I'm lucky enough to have them around me and not to be double or triple tasking all the time when they're here. To stop and smell the roses, like this one that I rescued from our drought damaged garden just last week.

What about you? Do you take time out to be mindful of where you are in your moment, your day, your life? Or do you have a special word that you try to live by each year? I'd love to know.



Sing...Sing a Song...

Reading: Ransom by David Malouf

Listening to: Boppy '60s pop tunes

Watching: The Best of the Glasshouse

Making me Smile: The upcoming RWA conference

Last month I blogged about recent research that claimed singing had health benefits. One of the said benefits was that singing could supposedly make you happier. How many of you took my challenge to sing a song a day for a week? Well, I took the test...

Did singing a song a day for seven days help keep the blues away? Read on, dear reader, read on...

Day One: I Could Be So Good For You (Dennis Waterman).

Well, I'm sure he could be *wink* but unfortunately my experiment didn't start well. Singing the song was fun--there's something about Master Waterman's voice that makes me smile, but I promptly forgot to sing a song on Day Two. Oops. Reminded myself it takes a month to form a new habit. Also told myself that forming a new habit when distracted by revisions that are due in a week may not be the best plan. Decided on a new starting date.

Days One, Two and Three: Pack Up (Eliza Doolittle), Weather With You (Crowded House), Chewy Chewy (Ohio Express)

All of these songs are fun--they make me feel brighter whenever I hear them on the radio. I sang Pack Up in the morning before I had to go out. When the next song on my playlist started, it was hard to stop. Also concentrated on different ways to stand while singing. Found standing straight with hands behind my back and feet slightly apart with chin up seem to aid breathing etc.

Days Four and Five: Realized that I have been singing uber happy and fun songs, so mixed it up with something more atmospheric.

Mull of Kintyre (Paul McCartney)--I lurve bagpipe music. (I also have a fantasy of visiting the beach at Kintyre and a pipe band magically appearing).

Great Southern Land (The University of Newcastle Choir)--these guys and gals are amazing. They give me goose bumps.

Day Six: Living Next Door to Alice (Smokie)

Heard this on the radio in the car and I had to come home and play it. Found it hard to concentrate on the song today, though. My mind was racing forward to the mountain of things I had to get done before bedtime.

Day Seven: Mickey (Toni Basil)

Singing and dancing must be seriously good exercise! I don't think I could keep both up for longer than three minutes. Man, rock stars must be seriously fit (am thinking Pink here. Whew!).

Another Day Seven (because I hadn't been keeping count): Thank You (Dido)

And then Day Eight, just because: Mamma Mia... Dancing Queen... Super Trouper... SOS. Loved my ABBA fest.

So, my verdict-Does singing make you happier?

I wish I could give you a definitive answer. The singing wasn't a chore and even though I felt self-conscious a few times, I really did enjoy it. I did my best to focus on the song and to blank my mind to everything else. That was harder than I thought it'd be (which has made me think I should start doing five to ten minutes of mediation a day). I don't know about the long-term benefits of singing, but the short-term, live-in-the-moment time of the actual song was fun, and more often than not, it lifted my mood for at least the next hour (regardless of whether I sang a fun song or a serious one).

One thing I can say for sure--singing a song a day certainly didn't hurt. And I'll let you in on a little secret, I mean to cultivate the habit. So what about you? Do you have any hints of tips for leading a happier life?

A Song a Day

by Michelle Douglas

Reading: Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Philips

Watching: Martin Chuzzlewit

Listening to: Dido

Making me smile: The songs on my IPod

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away then a song a day might just help keep the smile on your face.

Recent studies have shown that singing can make you feel happier. Some of the reasons are physical. For a start, belting out a tune releases endorphins, and we all know how good they can be. I'll confess to now wondering what kind of jogger's high one could achieve by combining singing with chocolate, but I digress...

Singing is an aerobic activity, which means it increases the oxygen levels in your blood, which in turn improves circulation, which in its turn promotes a good mood. Furthermore, singing requires deep breathing. What else requires deep breathing? Yes, exactly, meditation. So, singing can make you happy AND relaxed. Win-win.

And guess what else? Because you are gently exercising your facial muscles while you sing, one of the great benefits of singing regularly is that it can keep you looking younger (man, I wish I'd known about that twenty years ago!).

Given the above, is it any wonder that an Australian study revealed that choral singers rated their satisfaction with life higher than other members of the community?

Other than the physical effects of tra-la-laaing, there are some pretty hefty psychological ones too. It is very hard to worry and sing at the same time--go ahead, try it. Therefore, while you are singing, work stresses, family issues, and money troubles are momentarily on hold. That has to be good news for our stress levels, don't you think? And I can't help feeling that singing out loud and proud with gusto is an awful lot like play-a fabulous way to rediscover one's inner child.

Professor Grenville Hancox, director of the Sidney de Haan Research centre for Arts and Health in Kent, has been working to persuade the medical profession to prescribe singing instead of Prozac. "If we could engage more and more people in singing, I'm sure we would have a healthier nation."

Seriously, though, can singing really have that much of an effect?

Okay, the challenge is on. I want to find out if singing can increase my happiness. For the next seven days I am going to sing out loud (loud being the operative word) to at least one song a day. I'm going to keep a record of the songs I sing and how I'm feeling afterwards. Who's going to join me? We can report back in a month and compare notes.