Apr 4, 2018

The Lastingness of Love

I write mostly about romantic love, and romantic love is something that most people experience in their life. The presence of it, or the absence, I believe intrinsically shapes who we are.
But I’m thinking about enduring love today. Romantic love is – or can be – but I mean real enduring-in-the-face-of-adversity love.
The reason this is playing around in my mind is because I write from a cafe and have come to know the regular cast of characters who are here at the same times I am. There is one pair, and I cannot say if they are mother and son or husband and wife, to be honest. I know only that the woman, who wears a wedding ring, has suffered something, at some point in her life, resulting in her being silent and locked away inside of herself. And once a week, her companion brings her for coffee, and they sit and he reads the paper and she stares at other people, watches him, drinks her coffee, and every now and again, if she has stared for perhaps too long at any one particular person, he reaches across and taps her on the hand to draw her attention back to him. Her staring isn’t malicious, of course, but if you don’t see it against the background of her situation you might feel a little targeted.
In any event, the affection between the two never fails to bring a swelling to my throat. He takes such beautiful care of her, making sure she’s warm, patting her back as he settles her into a seat, laying a newspaper out in front of her to look at even though she doesn’t seem to read it.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is something we all think we would do for our spouse or parent, if they were to require it of us. It shouldn’t be extraordinary – this level of love should be more normal.
It’s just very moving and beautiful to see it enacted, and their love and connection gives me faith in the goodness of humanity and the lastingness of true love.
Have you seen any examples of unwavering love lately? 


  1. Oh, Clare, I'm so moved. And intrigued of course! What a lovely couple. It would be nice to think that some day she'd feel better and more able to interact with the world. Maybe in time.

    As for examples of unwavering love - all the time. I regularly visit a nursing home and see it there on each visit. Between husband and wife, even when one is no longer fully aware of the world, they're still aware they're loved. Between children and parents and even between staff and residents. It's a shame that enduring. gentle love isn't celebrated as much as it should be.

  2. It’s rather uncanny seeing a part of people’s lives. These people that you feel you know but not really. Reminds me of when I caught the same train to work for many years. Same carriage, same time, same people. You see a lot about the people.

  3. Hi Clare

    That is such a lovely story so moving and that is love true love I find that sort of thing happening in nursing homes where partners and children go day after day to visit the people they love who can not longer be cared for at home it is hart breaking and moving at the same time

    Have Fun