There has never been a time in my life when I’d have won a Best Housekeeping award, but since I’ve started my PhD things on the housekeeping front have deteriorated. This fact came home to me with startling clarity when I finally vacuumed my house last week and saw how much dirt my vacuum cleaner sucked up. Yikes!
Pre-PhD my routine was:
- Write a book and ignore everything else but the bare basics—like cooking (because I like to eat) and catching up every now and again with girlfriends (because I like to stay sane)
- Send finished manuscript to editor
- Clean house
- Write a book and ignore everything else but the bare basics
- Send finished manuscript to editor
- Get some PhD work done (ignoring everything else but the bare basics)
- Send to uni supervisors
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| Dirty dishes? Man, these can pile up! Image courtesy of vegadsl at FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
By then, of course, it’s time to rinse and repeat. And, uh, “Clean the house” never seems to get ticked off my To-Do list. So I did an Internet search on: housecleaning tips and tricks. I was looking for shortcuts and rousing advice on “How to keep your house clean in only 10 mins a day!” You want to know the first piece of advice my search brought up?
Tip #1: Hire a house cleaner.
Hire a house cleaner!
Well, it’s a nice idea except I’d be too embarrassed to let a house cleaner—an experienced professional—into my house at the moment. I’d have to do a spring clean first and where on earth am I going to find the time for that?
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| Seriously, what is her problem? Her house is spotless! Image courtesy of radnatt at FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
Also, there’s a strange puritan thread that runs through my soul. It shoots old-fashioned pearls of wisdom at me like darts:
- Don’t throw out leftovers, you wastrel. Find a use for them!
- Don’t turn the heater on until it’s dark. If you’re cold put on another jumper.
- Hiring a house cleaner is extravagant. You work from home. You should be able to find the time to clean it. Just make more of an effort!
So I went on the Internet to find me some attitude. Oh, and I found plenty. :-)
Erma Bombeck: “Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”
Betty Friedan goes one better: "No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor."
Roseanne Barr claims she’s “not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.”
And I did find housekeeping tips.
Joan Rivers: “I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.” Clean the house every six months? I can manage that.
Phyllis Diller: “If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." Lie? Yeah, I can do that too. :-)
It was Jennifer Wilson, however, who reminded me of the truth of the matter: “A messy house is a must—it separates your true friends from other friends. Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”
So whenever the clutter starts piling up and guilt starts to pummel me these are the women I’m going to channel.
What about you? Do you find housework sometimes getting you down?
