Jan 4, 2017

Calling All Worrywarts!

Are you a worrier? Do you fret and ruminate over things you have zero control over? Well, you're not alone- I have a PhD with First Class Honours in Worry. I used to be much worse than I am now. I've worked at it over the years, but even so, I only have to look back at this time last year to see all the stuff I was fretting over that didn't eventuate. Well, some of it did, but I handled it way better than I thought.


Here are just a few in no particular order of priority...

Will I get all my books written before their deadlines? I did with time to spare.
Will any of my three dogs get bitten by a snake when we're walking in the bush? No, thank goodness but we've seen a few on our walks. Yikes!
Will my editor hand me over to someone else? Yes, and I was devastated. I couldn't write for weeks and felt so sad and lost. I have a new editor now and I am sure things will be just fine once we get a book or two done and dusted.
Will I be a good friend, wife, mother, daughter, aunt and great aunt, dog owner, citizen, writer, volunteer, etc. I think so. I hope so. I could do better but I'm doing my best, right?
Will I think of something interesting to say in all the blogs I have to do this year? I'll let my readers be the judge.
And will I set the right schedule buttons on Blogger so they are published on the right date?!! So far so good.
And will I be in a good WiFi area so I can respond to the comments?  Ack. Some of you will remember my very first blog with Lovecatsdownunder had me doing a Mr Bean thing on the east coast of Tasmania. I literally had to stand on top of a sand dune on one leg to get a signal. But I did it and got through. Yay! And now I have excellent Wifi at my holiday home.


That's enough on the list. I could write a worry for every day of the year.  Seriously, I could make worrying into an Olympic sport. But the thing is, many of the things I listed were outside my control. Some of them were worthy of more worry than others, but at the end of the day ( or year!) no amount of worrying changed anything. The only thing I had any control over was how I handled whatever happened.

What are you already worrying about for this year? Do you have any tips on how to handle those racing thoughts and that sense of dread that sits like a headstone in your stomach? Or are you one of those people I've always envied who just sail through life without too much time on the hamster wheel of worry?
I have a signed copy of my upcoming release The Temporary Mrs Marchetti (all regions).

Best wishes,

Melanie xx

19 comments:

  1. Melanie I am with you I worry all of the time then scold myself for doing so what will be will be LOL All I can do is do my best and hope things work out. At the moment I have two kids to get back to school making sure they have everything they need and keeping them happy and occupied during the rest of the holidays but yes some days are worse than others and mostly I will pick up a book and read for a while and that calms me :)

    Have Fun
    Helen

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    1. Helen, you are amazing at how you look after everyone, including us romance authors!
      😃

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  2. Aug 24/16 my husband broke his hip socket when he and another bicyclist collided. (It will hopefully show as healed with his Jan 23/17 X-rays.)
    Sept 24/16 my son was in the hospital with a compressed disk.
    I worried re Oct 24/16 but before that date came up, my son ran into my daughter's bumper on slippery roads in town, writing off his car and getting her bumper replaced for free. (His charge was dropped; didn't even pay a deductible for insurance because it was his first accident.)
    In November my son had a cyst removed from his leg. (Benign, whew.)
    On Boxing Day, my son slid, fishtailed, and rolled his truck three times from black ice on a major highway. He and my daughter climbed out the passenger side injury free. No charges there either. Company that was supposed to sand the highway hours earlier was charged re 14 accidents within a few minutes on same stretch of highway.
    Now I'm not exactly worried, but I'm concerned, about what will happen in January. Hopefully it's a new year and no hospital visits/accidents....

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    1. Oh my goodness! Laney, you must be a nervous wreck! It's no good telling someone not to worry when they've had so much bad stuff happen. I think you are amazing how you've coped with it all. 😘

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  3. Isn't it hard not to worry about things, Melanie? Between Christmas and New Year I was worrying about all the things I need to get done this year...and then I made myself stop and reminded myself that I was still in 2016, and on hols, and that there was time to get all the things done. Mind you, a PhD and constant anxiety seem to go hand in hand. ;-)

    I hope 2017 is full of all good things for you! :-)

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    1. I seriously don't know how you are doing a PhD plus your writing career. Talk about amazing and inspiring! Hope 2017 is fabulous for you. 😘

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  4. I have a bit of a foot in both camps, Melanie. I do tend to be a person who thinks things will work out so I dont tend to borrow trouble to coin a phrase. My sister is the kind of person who lies in bed awake at night worrying about third world hunger and slave labour and the hole in the ozone layer. Those things make me sick to the stomach too but the thing is I know that at 2 am, there's not a damn thing I can do about any of them so why not get some sleep? Even when my Mum was critically ill in ICU I wasn't worried that she'd die. I mean, of course I was worried about how sick she was and how bad her outlook was and how long it would take her to recover but as an ICU nurse, I knew she was in good hands, the best of hands and I had absolute faith in that. I really wasn't worried that she was going to die. Of course, when she did die, it came as quite a shock even though given all the things I know medically, I shouldn't have been.

    Of course as my kids go out into the world I find myself worrying about them more. When they got their car licenses, when my daughter moved 850km away at the age of eighteen and this year both of them going overseas for an indeterminate amount of time to live - one to Ireland, the other to Austria. That's a shit load further away than 850 kms should something go wrong for them. So yeh....I try to be sensible about it because they should be doing this and I'm excited for them but deep down my gut is churning.....

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    1. The shock of losing a loved one is raw even when you have been worrying. I remember how tough that was on you. But at least you didn't waste time worrying because in the end nothing could be done anyway.
      And as to letting kids loose in the world...😱 I can't help chewing my nails down to my elbows. Hope your kids have a great and safe time.

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  5. I am a bit of a worrier by nature, but I do work hard at self-talk. Can I control this? Is there anything I can do to make it better/easier/less stressful? If not, then I need to let it go. Sometimes that is easier said than done, especially when it involves those you love. I worry a thousand times more about them, even the two who are now (allegedly) all grown up and adult and responsible, than I do about myself.

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    1. I hear you, Bron! Loving someone is the automatic pathway to worry and yes, even when they are adults!

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  6. I really try not to worry about things I have no control over. It just makes me anxious, and I don't need the stress. My husband is an excessive worrier..he worries enough for 10 people and it drives me crazy! I do have normal worries about my family and friends being happy healthy and safe.
    The only time I was really worried was lat June when we had the Pulse Nightclub shootings in Orlando. It happened close to my home, and I worked at the hospital and knew some of the ER docs and nurses. I worried about them, turned to prayer (and I am not a member of any religion, just wanted to call in any good forces from the Universe) and after the first couple days I was ok. When incidents like this happen I consciously try and avoid the continuous TV news coverage.... I have to get away from that. (and that is when my Kindle loaded with books really helps)
    Love and peace.... Laurie

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    1. Laurie, that terrible event was enough to set any normal person worrying. And it keeps happening. I really feel for your friends who were the medical responders. Being married to a trauma surgeon has helped me realise there are many who are traumatised by these events, often for life.
      Thanks for sharing.

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  7. The things that worry me I try to deal with ASAP. Work through them or even dismiss them. Sometimes just letting go of them is a relief.

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    1. I need to learn how to let go, Mary. You sound much better at it than me!
      Thanks for posting.

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  9. Melanie good new year.
    I am a person who worries about anything and that rimuginare on anything. I'm always afraid of making a mistake and not being able to do everything that I set out to do. Luckily my husband is the opposite of me.

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    1. Isn't it funny how we often marry men who balance us out? My husband is super calm and controlled and I'm the opposite. But somehow it works!

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  10. I'm a worry wart, too. I try not to be, but with two sons flying the nest I worry about the things they'll get up to (because I was their age once, and I KNOW what I got up to!! LOL). Like you, I worry about deadlines (I have one on 1 Feb and am chasing it hard), but so far I have never missed one, so I'm sure I'll be okay.
    I try to tell myself not to worry about things out of my control but that doesn't help at 2 in the morning. My husband shakes his head and despairs, but I tell him I just do the worrying for the both of us!

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    1. Oh, Louisa, I have two sons as well and I know all about the gnawing worry that goes with that! And I agree if there is one person doing all the worrying in the household the other one gets to chill out. That is all too familiar as well.
      Good luck with the deadline. I'm sure you'll nail it.

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