Catwalk Wednesday

Name:
Dorkus aka Psycho Cat

Human Slave:
His name's Robbie and he turned up about a year after I moved in with mum and muscled in on our relationship. Thought he was the boss but I showed him. It took a few years of careful training but now I have him wrapped around my furry paw. I meow, he feeds me. I can usually score an extra meal or two during the day if I bug him enough. Trouble is, he escapes a lot and doesn't come home for days. And when he's gone, no matter how much I carry on, I can never trick mum into giving me extra food (not an extra gourmet tin anyway). Guess I better start the re-programming.

Night Owl or Early Bird:
My humans call me the furry alarm clock. If my stomach is rumbling then it's time for one of the humans to get up and feed me. And if that means I have to tap them on the shoulder a few times, sit on the bedside table and stare down at them until they feel my feline power and wake up or jump on top of them, then so be it. I like to make the wake-up call as early as possible. Why should I wait just because they want to sleep? There's another 23 hours in the day for that.

Likes:

• paper bags
  
• dark cupboards
  
• sleeping underneath the bed
  
• raw chicken
  
• ambushing the humans
  
• sun-baking on mum's old writing desk
  
• the wood fire in winter.

Dislikes:

• thunder
  
• that damn cat burglar who stalked me for a couple nights in a row,
  
• that man who stuck a thermometer up my bum and a needle in my shoulder (though my mum thought he was cute), and when he started clipping my claws -- well, you've heard the story of Samson & Deliah? -- I was not impressed,
  
• eating the same thing day after day.
  
• Being called 'stumpy bum' - I can't help it if I lost my tail in a fight with a garbage truck - do I make fun of your appearance?
• car trips/plane trips -- any kind of travel. I'd rather stay home and watch the world pass by.
  

Ambition:

I have a blog called Diary of a Mad Cat which I must get back to one of these days, but I need "Cat Speaking" or some other cool software. It's really tedious typing with your paws.

I had a contest on MySpace for a while with a pig to see who could get the most friends. I'm sure I won. I haven't logged in for a while.

Mmm, come to think about it, guess I'm not very ambitious anymore. Hey I'm 14 years old! It takes too much energy to be ambitious (yawn!) and I like my sleep.

Occasionally I give mum a critique on her writing. This either involves sitting on her manuscript, vomiting on it or eating it. I'm sure she gets the message .

Got to go, I can feel a cat nap coming on.

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Do you have a pet photo you'd like to share?

The LoveCats are showcasing Catwalk Wednesday each week! For those readers who'd like us to feature their furred, feathered or scaled friends, please send Mel the snapshot to her email - melteshco@yahoo.com.au with the subject line: Catwalk Wednesday photo. Each week the LoveCats will choose one animal friend. Mel will then send off a list of questions for the pet owner to choose from!