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| Photo by Deborah Hillman Photography |
This past weekend I have been hugely blessed to have had my kids (and their partners) around me for a great deal of the time. I finished a manuscript on Good Friday by four o'clock in the afternoon (my self-imposed deadline) and by five I was enjoying savouring a delicious bottle of champagne to celebrate the moment. For dinner we barbequed and had salad and tasty garlic bread and everything felt so right with my world.
It occurred to me, as it often does, that I don't stop to appreciate those moments often enough. I don't celebrate the individual achievements that add up to reach a goal. Saturday was another such day as the kids came with us to an extended family and friends function at a beautiful home in a stunning location south of Auckland and the kids all came back to our house to sleep over and we shared breakfast together on Sunday morning. Once everyone had gone, the house felt empty, but right, if you know what I mean. Having everyone staying with us was wonderful and we had a lot of laughs which left a lingering trace of happy in our home even after everyone had gone.
A year, or so, ago I decided on a theme for my year and that was to have no regrets. I didn't want to miss out on doing something and be annoyed with myself later for not having taken a hold of the opportunity with both hands. It led me to go parasailing while on holiday with my family and subsequently to go skydiving, again with my family. Both things I have fabulous memories of and no regrets at all. It also led me to go to Romance Writers of America's national conference in Anaheim, which was truly amazing, and to spend an extra day and a night in the States with writing friends so I could visit Santa Monica as well. I reached the end of my year with no regrets but still doing my usual hamster on a wheel thing, living life too busy.
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| Fragrant Cloud Rose |
What about you? Do you take time out to be mindful of where you are in your moment, your day, your life? Or do you have a special word that you try to live by each year? I'd love to know.
My girlfriends and I adopted "ruthless" last year: by being ruthless in throwing out things, basically.
ReplyDeleteThis year we have adopted "balance": one in, one out; and making time for ourselves. (We still try to be ruthless, though, LOL!)
And yes, I AM mindful throughout the day. I am very grateful that, even though I have numerous pesky medical problems (and I mean numerous), none are serious (that I know of); there are so many people in worse shape than I.
Laney4, sometimes I think you need to be ruthless to maintain balance. I think I'll need to adopt ruthless next year, once I've mastered this mindful thing. We have cupboards that I'm scared to open for what might descend upon me and boxes and boxes of things stored under the house that need attention "one day" too. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteGood on you for being mindful through the day! :D
What a simply wonderful virgin blog post, Yvonne! I, too, am guilty of always worrying about what's in front rather than focussing on the here and now. Luckily for me, my DB practices mindfulness training and he's slowly influenced me to use it more in my life. He reads the likes of Eckhart Tolle and Thic Naht Hanh and he also practices Qigong and I love what it does for his positivity and his belief in celebrating the moment.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on getting your book finished!
Yvonne, I so understand what you're saying. I am very goal orientated - have things I have to do for the house, for the kids, the cats, my husband, work - and there never seems time left over simply to "enjoy".
ReplyDeleteBut the truth is I have programmed myself not to find the time...to fill it up with other "more important" things.
But I have changed that lately, too.
This month I plan to book our second cruise. Ten days of soaking up relaxation, fun, new experiences - all guilt-free!
Thanks for a great post, Yvonne!
Welcome Yvonne! I'm also one for having a "theme" for the year, although I, too, am late at working out what 2013 is going to be all about! I have a feeling it's going to have to be "chill". Remember to take a break every now and then. And also "gratitude". No point breaking my neck to get where I am without taking time out to enjoy and be grateful for it!
ReplyDeleteHi Yvonne,
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrific first post. It sounds like you've made the most of your year! I love the idea of having a theme for the year. Interestingly, lately, I've been trying to take time out to stop and smell the roses - figuratively as well as literally. Like others I seem to spend most of my time focused on the never ending list of things that need doing till I feel like I'm on a treadmill. However, I'm much better now at celebrating little milestones along the way, and giving myself permission for a little time off occasionally.
Yvonne, what a great post! I seem to spend an awful lot of time chasing things, always on the go, busily thinking about the next thing on my list. Thank you for reminding me about celebrating the now.
ReplyDeleteJust before christmas I was introduced to Headspace.com which is an amazing organization that promotes meditation and mindfulness. They have a free 'Take 10' course which is just 10 minutes of meditation for ten days. I signed up and even paid for an additional 365 days of meditation- got to christmas and the busyness of holidays, then the catching up at work and haven't done any since. Think I'll start again today!
I love the idea of having a theme for the year- think I'll adopt that myself. Well done on doing some amazing things last year!
Hi Barbara, your DB sounds very well balanced. Probably a good person to have around in a crisis, I imagine. Thanks for the congrats on finishing the book. Now I'm obsessing about what I should have changed or rewritten after sending it! Argh! :-)
ReplyDeleteOooh, a cruise, that sounds delightful, Robyn. I hope that one day I'm brave enough to take a cruise. I am sorely tempted by the Alaskan cruises. It would be so very different, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally hear you on filling every minute. I have just filled in my wall planner for the next 14 months and it's already making my head spin. Must. Learn. To. Make. Time. Then. Take. It!
Emmie, "gratitude" is a wonderful theme to choose for a year, I think. It works across so many boundaries and creates a wonderful example at the same time. And, yes, "chill" is something I need to do with more regularity. I think the hamster on the wheel in my brain could do with slowing down a bit more often!
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I'm so glad to hear you've found the balance you wanted. It's a hard road, isn't it? I think the balance it gives us is so vital to every aspect of our lives, don't you?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Louisa! And thanks for the mention of the Headspace.com site. I think I need to check that out. Mr Fix-It and I are heading away for an eight day holiday in Hawaii so I think I'll find the site valuable for when I get back and hop back on that hamster wheel all over again :-D
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a theme for a year, Yvonne! Last year was my year of "not automatically saying no to challenges." (Sorry, that's a bit of a mouthful). Basically instead of saying no to things that challenged and scared me, I had to tell myself I was a Goddess and of course I could do x, y or z if I wanted to. It's amazing what a change in mindset can do. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with you -- mindfulness seems so simple, but can be so difficult to achieve. But, yes, it's on my agenda too. :-)
Yvonne, this is a great post. I always try to be mindful of stopping to smell the roses. Life is so much richer that way.
ReplyDeleteLove that rose from your garden! Does it have a scent?
Hi Yvonne, what a lovely post!!! I'm terrible at living in the moment. As I finish breakfast I'm planning what I'm having for lunch (or is that just because I love food?) I did learn how to do transcendental meditation in my twenties. It was fantastic. Amazing how you can stop doing things that are good for you.
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of having a theme for each year. I will have to sit down and think of one for this year.
Argh! Sorry to be late to your debut blog, Yvonne!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of having a theme word for the year.
Mine this year is to slow down. So that's two..... But trying to cram a thousand things in each day just isn't sustainable ultimately so this year I'm not even trying.
TBH it hasn't worked out so good so far......but I am trying :-/
Michelle, I think learning not to automatically say "no" is incredibly brave and on the flip side, learning not to say "yes" all the time (volunteeritis) is equally brave. Sometimes we need the courage to say "yes" and others the selfishness to say "no". Both help protect us, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteRachel, that rose has the most exquisite scent which sometimes drifts over the fence as we approach our front door just to entice you to look over the fence and admire the blooms. I love it. The original one we had was given to us by my husband's grandfather. Sadly it didn't transplant as well as it's partner (also given to us at the same time) but we hurried to replace it and we've had this bush for nearly twenty years now!
ReplyDeleteJen, I think we often allow ourselves to become too busy and instead of actually valuing time we just worry too much about wasting it. i.e. wasting meaning not getting everything done this time yesterday, if you know what I mean. I tend to live in this state perpetually, and find it really hard to slow down. Also, I think as a parent you're always thinking about the next meal. I love it now my kids are old enough to cook and plan a meal, although the eldest has moved to a home of her own. This morning I got up and saw that my youngest had taken meat out and was clearly already planning dinner for us. Yay!
ReplyDeleteAmy, I find when I try to cram too much in I'm always filled with the regret that I didn't accomplish all I set out to do, without looking at what I actually did manage to achieve! Twisted thinking, isn't it? Maybe we all need to reprogramme ourselves this year, LOL!
ReplyDeleteOMG Yvonne! I can't wait for the time when my kids can cook!!
ReplyDeleteIt'll come, Jen, it'll come. I can't promise they'll be adept at cleaning up after themselves though! ;-)
ReplyDelete