Nov 6, 2013

Seeing Yourself, Loving Yourself!

with Misty Dietz


I'm so thrilled to have Misty Dietz visiting today to share this blog she posted way back in April!  I read it then and the message resonated with me strongly.  I thought it was a powerful message, well worth repeating, so I got in touch with her to see if she'd be happy to have her post "re-blogged" on the LoveCats DownUnder.  She was! 

So here's Misty's blog...

Seeing Yourself, Loving Yourself! 


I’d been meaning to write a post about the unrealistic burdens of modern beauty conceptions for weeks, but today when I came across another video about how critical women are of themselves, I was like, Damn.


Are you hard on yourself? Do you have a little voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, fill-in-the-blank-with-your-inner-demon du jour…? It’s time to start speaking more gently and lovingly to ourselves. To treat ourselves with respect and dignity. To accept that we’re not perfect and if anyone expects us to be, fuck’em maybe they don’t belong in our inner circle.


Where the hell do we start? One small way is by realizing that the images we see all around us every day are a cosmetic, Photoshop-obsessed fantasy. The first video below is 1:27 minutes and shows an “evolution” from regular girl to billboard perfect model. See what you think.




The whole neck stretching thing kinda freaked me out. I had no idea.

This next video is a little longer (3 minutes), but carries a powerful message. How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you? Would that image be accurate?



It struck me when the woman mentioned that how we perceive ourselves affects not only the jobs we apply for and the friends we make, but also how we treat our children and those around us.

Are you seeing the beauty in yourself? If not, are you ready to start doing something about it?

37 comments:

  1. Sharon

    it is thought provocting isn't it I probably don't think much about these things I have always been me and that is they way I am of course I would love to lose wieght and be fitter but for health reasons and not any other I take people as they are and I hope that people take me the same way :)

    Have Fun
    Helen

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    1. Helen, I like your great philosophy for living life!

      Hey, me, too, about the getting fitter for health reasons! It's a must!

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    2. Helen, I am trying to cultivate the same "live and let live" motto. Why wouldn't we all? One of my favorite quotes is, "your opinion of me is none of my business." Living this way offers way more serenity - something we could all use more of! Thanks for chiming in!

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  2. Sharon, that was amazing! I'm so glad I took the time to watch the videos. What a thought provoking piece. Thanks for getting Misty to share.

    Most of the women I know seem to focus on the negatives of our appearance rather than the positives. I wonder why? I'm so glad that seems to be so much less now. Maybe we grow more comfortable with ourselves? I look back on teenage years and wonder if we were all brainwashed in some way! I'm going to be sharing this blog!

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    1. Hey, Annie, I think you're right about growing more accepting of ourselves as we get older.

      But how hard for younger people to have such manipulated images touting products. Models are picked for their attractiveness, that's a given, but when you add in the "perfection" of computer enhancement it all becomes very unfair.

      I'm so glad you'll be sharing this blog - I think it's a fantastic message to spread!

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    2. Yes, Annie, why do we do that? You never hear a guy bitching about his gut. He's more like, "you want somma this?" Is it because girls are taught to be self-effacing whereas boys are praised for their confidence? Because women with confidence are viewed as bitches? This could spin off on its own post, right?! :)

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  3. Hi Misty! Hi Sharon! Wow, how powerful as that? I was really moved in the sketch artist piece. How sad - for ALL of us! By the way, Misty, I agree about the neck thing - that was really creepy. So was making the eyes bigger. Uch!

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    1. It made me sad, too, Anna. But sometimes it's the gut punches that instigate the change. Thanks for commenting!

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    2. Anna, I found the sketch artist piece moving and fascinating, too. The pictures drawn from descriptions given by other people seemed so much more open and warmer than those drawn from self-description.

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  4. Good day, LoveCats! Or should that be G'day? :)

    Big thank you to Sharon for reaching out and offering to share Dove's wonderful message of self-acceptance. I'm glad this is resonating with women everywhere because I am so done with beating myself up. It's an ongoing journey, though. I'm doing NaNo for the first time ever, and even though I'm meeting my daily goals, when I hear others talking about their uber high word counts, I can't help but feel like I'm not doing enough.

    Dumb defeating self-talk! Shut that shit off! :)

    Unlike many in my family, I'm not hard wired to be a competitive person, but the media's influence is subversive. Understanding what's going on every time we're feed images of "perfection" is the first step toward overcoming years of marketing propaganda.

    So here's to all of us being more gentle and loving with ourselves. It's just as important to being that way toward others because our actions speak louder than words. And when we model self-acceptance who knows how many other women observe and start to think about embracing the same philosophy.

    Hugs! Misty :)

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    1. G'day, Misty! Welcome to the LoveCats!

      I was so rapt when you said you'd let me share your blog! Haven't the Dove people done us a great service with those videos? I wish they could be mandatory viewing in high schools so young people could understand the truth behind the images of beauty they're surrounded by.

      Hey, definitely stop it with the negative self-talk about your word counts for NaNo! You're meeting the goals you set yourself and just the fact that you're doing it makes you a winner! Go you!

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    2. Great idea about required viewing in HS. Heck I think it should start in junior high because it seems unrealistic beauty messages are targeting our girls at younger and younger ages!

      Thanks for the pep talk! xo

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  5. Holy crap, that second video was so powerful. Why, I wonder, do we focus on the negative in ourselves but see the positive in others? There's that whole mantra about treating others as we'd like to be treated...but we never seem to treat ourselves with the same kindness and acceptance. And, yes, it's time that changed.

    It's fab to have you visit the LoveCats today, Misty. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful message.

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    1. Oh, Michelle, great point about treating others as we'd like to be treated - but then not extending the courtesy to the way we treat ourselves! Definitely time for a change!

      I'm so glad Misty's blog resonated with you, too!

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    2. I think the whole being nicer to ourselves is easier when we realize - really let it sink in - that when we are nicer to ourselves, it can have a butterfly effect all around us. I love that! :)

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  6. Great blog, Misty. Thanks for sharing it here, Sharon.
    Media is subversive - it does your head in! Will be linking my Fat Author post later today to this blog.

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    1. Cool about cross-linking your blog to this post later, Amy! This is such a great message to get out there!

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  7. Hi Misty, thanks for sharing your blog and Sharon thanks for facilitating it. We as adults have such pressures on us but is my daughter I fear most for. Young people face such incredible pressure to be not just good but "perfect" at everything, especially the way they look. These kinds of video help bring the media images that surround us into perspective.

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    1. Kandy, I couldn't agree more about the pressure on young people. More perspective needed! No-one should measure themselves against photo-shopped images - even the model the image is derived from shouldn't!

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    2. Kandy, when I was in college I mentored 7th and 8th grade girls, and I can't tell you how many conversations we'd get into about body image. I would bring in magazines and we'd talk about the advertisements and how they were trying to manipulate our thoughts. It was so amazing to see them start to apply critical thinking to what they were seeing. Knowledge and open dialogue can be so powerful! Let's keep talking about this with our girls - we can make a huge impact! :)

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  8. Hi Sharon and Misty
    This is powerful stuff. Women do seem to spend a lot of time looking for faults in themselves. Think of all the time and energy we've wasted.
    Thank you for this blog.

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    1. Sue, so glad you enjoyed the message in Misty's blog! It's been great to hear this has resonated with everyone.

      Hey, we're got to stop that fault finding thing and just get on and embrace ourselves and our lives!

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    2. Glad you took the time to watch and respond, Sue! Thank you!

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  9. Hi, Misty, Sharon and the lovely LoveCats!

    Such a powerful message these clips! Thanks for sharing them. It's really amazing how an unkind observation from a relative or "friend" can resonate so deeply in childhood and carry on into adulthood -- I know this first hand! For years, I focused on my so-called flaws, but I gained more confidence after learning to accept them. Eventually!

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    1. Vanessa, it's awful when something negative touches you so deep inside that it lasts for years and years. And the thing is that the person who said it may have had no idea of the lasting damage their careless comment caused. I'm glad for you that you've put those unkind words behind you! ((hugs))

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    2. So true, Vanessa! And good for you that you overcame those negative thoughts!

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  10. Hi Misty, Sharon and all the LoveCats,
    Powerful, moving, disturbing. I have a clear memory of being told I wasn't as beautiful as my two sisters by an elderly friend of the family but she softened it by saying I had a good personality. But at fourteen I wanted the beauty!

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    1. Words have long-lasting power, don't they, Melanie! I suspect the family friend meant well but that would have been a crushing observation at a time when you're really only growing into your potential.

      ((hugs for your 14-year-old self))

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    2. Yes, words can break us faster than physical blows. If you spent the time to watch and respond to these videos, I have no doubt but that you've taken your experience and become a better, more compassionate person in spite of it. I'll echo Sharon's hugs!

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  11. Love, love this post. Especially the video showing just how unattainable those images of "beauty" that we see all around us really are. I saw another video showing the same thing, but with a whole body:

    http://youtu.be/17j5QzF3kqE

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    1. Thanks for that link, Rachel! I'll shoot over and have a look! Glad you enjoyed Misty's post - I have to say I think it's brilliant, too!

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    2. WHOA!!! That one seems even more damaging! Wow. Thanks for sharing, Rachel, these things really piss me off. I'm going to this video all over the place.

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    3. I finally got over to have a look at that link, Rachel! :(
      It appears that even gorgeous models aren't gorgeous enough these days.
      Thank you for posting this.

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  12. Thanks so much for your thoughts and the videos, Misty.Very thought provoking!! I feel the same as Kandy. Our poor kids growing up being bombarded with these unrealistic images!!

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    1. We have to have lots of discussions about what goes on with media and marketing, don't we?! It's the only way we can help our girls and ourselves be okay with who we are. Thanks for commenting, Jennifer! :)

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    2. I agree, Jennifer - so unrealistic!

      Misty, I think you're right on on the button - lots and lots of discussions promoted by posts like yours! And kudos to Dove for highlighting this with these excellent videos!

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